Fear. you only fail if you choose to

Ive been setting a lot of goals lately which has played a big part in me not posting for a while. Ive had plenty of time to think about things since ive been home. most of my days consist of scripture study, job applications and a figuring out what I'm going to cook for lunch or dinner. I know pretty eventful. But in this time ive come to realize a lot actually. One - that confidence comes from knowing your true relationship with God, two that harmony can exist in a home when all share equal tasks and try to serve eachother. A truth confirmed from experiences on my mission. Three that having your health back requires a lot of patience and effort on your part of that deal, remembering not to be bothered by things and taking the time you need when you actually physically cant do it right then. Its exhausting both emotionally and physically. Another thing ive learned or rather have been reminded of is the constant requirement of being nourished everyday in all the aspects. And finding balance in that isn't easy. Setting goals to keep and or acquire that balance is the only easy part. The hard part. Well.. doing what we've planned in order to reach our goals. No matter how small its broken down to- tends to be difficult. I think its partially because of the new found confidence starts to become normal again and we're brought to a stage when we need to step it up again to a plan where we know we can reach those goals and expectations for ourselves. Having that faith In yourself is hard when things are trying to distract you from the knowledge of trust and faith that the Lord has in you..but doing the best you can do is al l that you can do. having that hope is what will help in the journey as that faith is built up again in this new again 'normal' lifestyle. Until that faith is strong enough the only thing that is going to nurture that faith and all the aspects of a person that creates balance comes through overcoming the obstacles. Overcoming that thing that stands in the way. That fear. If you think about it out of everything that you've. Every wanted to achieve but felt you couldn't what was it that was in the way? An insecurity? A weakness? An excuse? ... I think the thing we fear the most and I think the thing I fear the most is myself. To let myself down by letting othees down, or by simply nit living to some of the expectations ive planned for myself... what I would be or feel like if I'd fail. Or even who I'd Be, in accordance with certain steps of acton. Do I assign the right motives to myself is it the motives my father in Heaven would give me if he had set that goal? ..I think fear is what makes accomplishing anything seem so difficult and or burdensome. I feel that so many times everyone is just so incredibly hard on themselves. They cant even get a break from the constant negativity found in every minor setback. Or weakness the constant self criticism. In evenry decision even if it was a good one. When do people start listening to the good in themselves? The true motives they have by them in actually setting.those goals?. That voice which should speak louder than the rest that it can be done and there is not any need to give volume to those other noises. Because all they are are set backs. Fears. One behind us ...I guess that's another scary part. What is there once the fear is gone what takes its place once its been pushed back?.. I guess that's all part of the adventure I think you could say.. but from experience I know that every fear worked through and wrestled with will always come with a wave of realization and gratitude. We're given all the tools we need to get through these times. Its up to us how we apply them. And use them and begin a workmanship carving our own lives and the meanings in it step by step. With every decision and conviction to pull through. Deciding to overcome this fear is s big step but all it actually takes is a positive outlook and action. Fear has a big role on our lives. Its played a big role in mine and its something I try to overcome..I think it. Is a plays a big part in magnifying problems.. if someone is insecure they tend to either close up entirely or lash out on order to make themselves feel better. Another thing is I feel many are afraid to start living because they want to know or see the end already. Just to make sure it would have been worth it. But truth is eveyday needs to be lived as if what were doing in the now is,will and has been worth it. Life needs to be lived in the worth it moments doing the things which are hard- the things were worried about that wont go according to planned- in. Place of the longing for times or feelings of the past. Our now is just as exciting as our last has ever been and our future holds great promise as these fears are recognized and faced head on! Great happiness and satisfaction is ahead as these things are developed. That trust in faith in ourselves, the knowledge of such trust and faith that our Father has for us, through using the tools given to us. Assuming the best of others and ourselves living less burdened lives by assigning good motives within our judgements even if we could be wrong. Spending the time doing he things we dread or procrastinate doing because we don't want it to be anything less than we hope for or because we may subconsciously feel it would lack a certain emotion or feeling we crave to have. Those feelings and maybe even new treasures are found within the things we put away out of excuse or insecurity or fear. Its just a matter of taking the effort to act and develop them but the promise is that there will always be something rewarding waiting. Now see I know all these things so am I actually going to do them?... welll.. why not? I have nothing to lose but so much I can gain so I guess this is where it starts.. :) wish me luck! :)

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Balance

This morning I woke up and realized--- I need to get a Job as soon as possible.
then the problem, where am I going to find one of those jobs?
now begins the search more than ever, so first thing i'm going to do is go down to the ...place..
i don't remember what it is called, and file for the unemployment thing until I have found one, it shouldn't take to long. but it'll work :)
I would love to find one close by, that would be great.
but we'll see what I come up with, I'll start looking after my appointment with the Dr. on thursday,
      
until then i'm organizing my things and trying to not spread all my stuff throughout the house.
there's going to be some changes, i'm not gonna say what just yet but it's gonna be way better,

this morning pop came in and opened the blinds ... i was still sleeping.... he said it's good for me.. i think i disagree, then he pointed out the fact that from one end of the living room to the other my stuff had been spread.. i didn't notice until he said it, but it's actually true... my stuff is everywhere.
it's not healthy. even the no bake cookies i tried to make last night were still on the counter and all the stuff in the sink. (also they didn't work.. we have no bake poridge.) so I guess the change will be good.

I'm excited for the new changes that's gonna be happenening, of which i'll tell you probably in the next few entrys, but it'll be great :)

Madeleine and I are also going to create a personal health program that we're both going to follow and work on together,

I noticed now that i'm off my mission I need Balance in all things or I can't function. so we've decided to try and build up more balance in the house, starting with ourselves and maybe the influence might be good on everyone else.. dunno we'll see.
we made a blog for it :) it doesn't have anything else on it i'll post it once we get it up working.

being home is a great feeling but at the same time i'm eager to get moving again.
I wrote my companions in the Mission field an e-mail last week i'll include a little bit of it in here it was after my first activity in church since I got back:

'well i went to institute yesterday.. hardly anyone was there... it was not really my thing this time... it was good, i just felt super alone. when you get released, don't fear it, you will be okay like it's hard but you will actually not die. you'll be just fine but the biggest thing is no matter what KEEP THE CONSISTANCY. like ALWAYS pray, always read your scriptures. stick to your schedule becasue satan works his butt off to bring you down, and you feel like you can relax when your home, nope its a lot more effort to apply these things on your own like with your new schedule called ''life'' but it will be okay i will be here for you guys when you get home, just make sure you have a plan ready for when you come home of what your going to do and how your going to do it.

and also when you give your homecoming talk. .( well at least this is how it was for me). I lost ALL speaking and teaching skills. it actually proves to me how much this work was not done by me but actually by the Lord. because I was lost for words. something that never happened on the mission.

but on the upside, seeing your family again is awesome!! seriously being back is good, sleeping in is AWESOME even though i haven't been able to do much of that yet. actually.. at all. but i can imagine it would be awesome ...
and being able to help out at home without feeling like it's chores that need to be done fills that gap of wanting to serve.there is no other service than in the service of the Lord within the Family'

that's kind of how it's going,
it's good but hard work :)
well it's time to go get ready for the day- do laundry- organize my 'bedroom' so it can look like a living room again, and continue personal study. :)

have a great day!

Day 1!!

I'm back from my mission,
     Serving has been one of the best opportunities i've ever been able to take in my life, i'm so grateful I did!
It feels like there is a big chunk of my life which I'd love to put into words but it's not actually possible to do. so for those who want to know how my mission has helped me, changed my life, and my whole perspective of why i'm here, you'll have to place your self in the same or a similar situation, it's more something that has to be felt and experienced to be able to comprehend.
it was just amazing.. absolutely one of the hardest thing's i've ever done, but completely worth it!

And now that i'm back home i'm glad I can help out.
:) and I think i get the best room in the house :)

it's busy being back home, but I like it, it keeps my mind going and my life active, i think if it were the opposite, i wouldn't be able to continue to progress, at least here at home for the time being there is enough things i can do to serve.

BUT, I want to visit my family as soon as I can, which means finding a job to get an income stated again.
I need to see what's going on with my health first, but other than that, i'm already applying for jobs :)
we'll see how it goes, as long as i have something set, or a plan by Christmas :)
also..this song i'm listening to that sister K showed me is pretty amazing. just sayin.. forgot how good music is! .. if anyone knows good clean songs that i've missed i'd love to have them just leave a list or a song title on the comments :)

Greece!

WEll, i'm finished with my First transfer first 9 weeks, which has been Crazy yet super exciting!
My trainer Sister Gallagher was awesome, and now in the Second Transfer I am back with my MTC companion! Sister Kusseling :)

Greece is Absolutely amazing! there is so much culture here I love it!
I love the way people are here they are so passionate! about everything! they way they talk they way they use their body language and especially how passionate they are about their food and their history, it's something i've never seen before something I never could understand but now that i'm here things make a lot more sense, and I realize I can relate in a lot of things with the Greeks.

They realize something in life that they can just enjoy, they enjoy life so much its something I really admire!

It is such a blessing to be here Serving these people, I hope I can start to keep this blog up for those of you who have been asking for it!

right now it is so hot over here!
Sister Kusseling and I are serving in Athens, (my second transfer in Athens) we're about a 25 minute walk from the Parthanon and our church is just right below it!
there is SOOO much history here! and a strength to believe in something is born in the people here, along with traditions but once the Greeks have something they are very loyal to it, and it's something I respect so much!

Paul is a big thing here as well lol, it's so awesome to think we're following in Pauls footsteps and proclaiming the Gospel to these people!

they are so warm hearted but tend to be stuck in their traditions but they open up if they feel that you are sincere :)

I'm so looking forward to this Transfer serving with Sister Kusseling :)
i'll try and keep you updated from now on

love Sister Roberts

Waiting for my Mission Call :)

wow it's been a while since i last wrote, i don't have much time so i'll just type fast!

i don't know if i informed everyone that i'll be going on a mission, my papers are in Salt Lake City... so only a few weeks until i get them back! CRAZY! i'm so excited!! even if i get sent to holland.. which is super likely ... it'll be ok, i'll learn to love it :) i kinda want to go to Italy though.. or somewhere warm.. maybe california.. if i get sent state side, i'm gonna love it hahaha... if you haven't guessed yet put your guesses in and see if you're right! :)

I'm sure that a mission is going to help me grow SOOO much, i need this growth so much to just get ahead in life and be better prepared for things to come :) i'm excited for that growth and also to help people accept christ into their lives :) it's going to be awesome working with the spirit and understanding the gospel through action more than

i would ever be able to without! it's going to be an amazing feeling serving others in a more efficient way than i have been able to until now, i'm so excited for the opportunity to give service and Learn to love people more :) i hope that i can be a good missionary.. i hope that my mind will be filled with things i need to say or actions i need to do to inspire them and help them feel the spirit.. i want to be exausted every night from a day's work in the mission field!!! i'm sure it will be the best feeling ever!

well here is one of my mission pictures.. lol not the best.. my hair is a mess. lol..

Perseverance

There are days when I wake up and have no desire to put forth an effort.. I sense this cloud of gloom and guiltiness hanging around me as I get up to perform the daily tasks, knowing full well I need to prepare for the spiritual tasks which in front of me that need to be faced. Along with this cloud is also the distrust, anxiety, hostility formulating itself within.. It's moments like these that I know prayer would break the chains hanging around.

I then have two choices, and i'm not gonna lie, sometimes.. ok a lot of the time, I chose to go throughout the day utterly wasting my time on meaningless things, thinking it'll get better, that this is a self inflicted depression.. and I can still find some happiness regardless, later on i realize or make myself realize that's not the case, and i then feel because i chose not to face it, i have lost the right to. because things have been carried out a little to long, so I wait for the next day, or the right opening to make restitution, thinking that's the proper way..

Days like that are complete nonsense.. they're true, they happen, sometimes satan succeeds to blind us, with this nonsense, guilt, anxiety, and lack of esteem to get up reach for that Man who gladly fulfilled His mission for our freedom from such feelings.

Truth is are we Willing to see beyond that mist? See what we really want and how we are going to get it, and Actually take action on it, and not wait for it to come about, by thinking it will get better, even if it is a self inflicted sorrow, guilt from laziness, pride, or any other sin, there is no better time to turn to savior for help, even if we feel we aren't sorry, and feel can't be forgiven because our sins are to great and to many, and sometimes we may feel we don't really even care and it is what it is..change is to long and to hard..

his Sacrifice was still GIVEN to rid us even of those feelings. If we are to come and be perfected in him, we do not need to be in the perfect state of heart no matter in what form our heart may be in, we do not need to be perfect before calling upon his name for help.

We are who decides how close the forgiveness is in our lives.

Are we gonna choose to stay blind, stay unreasonable? or Call upon a high power to release us from our cold, sleep, or coma.. to change from apathy, and awaken that light in us once again to battle against the devils? claim our right to return to our father, to come to a perfect state, and to be with those we love forever?

Giving our all in life, will only happen once, the time lost we can never get back again, the only way to move is forward.

''Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: Thought your sins may be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.''

If in ANY moment you feel a spark of emotion for the things which are dear to you, a spark of desire or regret.. anything pertaining to the gospel and who you are, Grab it. no matter what you are doing, acknowledge it and put effort in it, even if that may be a small prayer even if without words, acknowledge it, and put it into prayer, there is no perfect way of doing these things,..

The only way to prove strength in this world, within ourselves and around us is Perseverance, in the effort into what needs to be done, for what we need and want.

'' Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good'' -- Romans 12:21

it is difficult for all of us..

..I could chose to give up, lose hope on those I love, i've had many opportunities to.. to take their examples as my own,.. and sometimes there are parts in me that wishes i could do that, thinking with some strange illusion that that would make us all together and happy, and perfect in our own way, that we would be together and that's all that would matter...

but i REFUSE even with my imperfections, with all that pain and grief i have carried for so long, even if that burden should not be mine to bear, to believe that lie, ..i chose to see beyond that mist, beyond that illusion that satan has tried and still does try to lay before me, even more so now that i have chosen to serve a mission..

Every time you fall to your knees, or force yourself down, you have conquered satan one more time.

Happiness lies in the Power & the Love & the Sweet Simplicity of Virtue.

'' But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of Heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this he will, according to his own will and pleasure. deliver you out of bondage '' -- Mosiah 7;33

Wow, has my life changed.. my heart has changed so much, it's amazing to me..

so much has been happening as well, well at least with my decisions for life lol..

I can't describe in one blog how i've been feeling or how i've been changing because most of those feelings and changes are personal, but I know that the Savior truly does take and has taken my sins and burdens upon him...I am so grateful for my Savior, that he was willing to die to pay for my mistakes that it would still be possible for me to return to my father, even with imperfections, as long as It give my all, with all the diligence and faith that I have, and put in the Lord. To trust in him in everything, and not lean to my own understanding. Granted I have not made any Mistake that would jeopardize my spiritual standing, but what sort of mistake is not a mistake that needs forgiving?

These past months, years, i've been learning so much, so many differences between trying and absolutely giving it my all. giving my all means putting my trust in Him in All things, in my thoughts, in my actions, my prayers, putting him first before everything else. Even if that means getting up earlier to have personal prayer, or have scripture study before checking my e-mail.. Heavenly Father Truly see's and knows what we need and is willing to and wants to bless us if we follow him. I've lost count of the blessing's i've received these past weeks.. It's amazing how perfectly and brightly the path of life can be if we walk with such things as Trust and Diligence... I'm grateful that I can still ask for help even after I make mistakes.

because I know he is full of love and mercy.

I know he has satisfied the demands of justice through and because of that Love, I know he is always willing to help no matter what the situation might be, as long as I humble myself and have gratitude recognizing that I need his help to overcome my trials. My heart is filled and I desire to give glory to Heavenly Father forever.. he truly is Majestic.

As you all probably know I was supposed to go my mission next year as I had been planning since I was 15... well turns out thats not what the Lord has in mind for me, (yet?)..

I actually-- well to make a really long story short, I feel that I need to move back home to Utah and go to College. so thats what i'm going to do.

At first I'd been feeling really guilty and bummed out about not going on a mission (yet?),

but for a while now, I feel Heavenly Father wants me to get my education in.

I AM excited for this new adventure though, and it will definitely be an adventure, i'm super excited to start the trek of being even more independent, I am craving the challenges that I know it will bring, and the fact that I know I will be working harder, and that is such a great motivation for me! I feel this is a great opportunity for me. :)

I'm so thankful I've been on my own out here in Amsterdam! I'm grateful i've learned to just keep going, and not lose it lol, I mean you can't exactly give up when you're taking care of 3 kids and there's laundry that needs to be done. :) I'm grateful i've had this time moving here and living here in The Netherlands to prepare, and gain a testimony in the past 6 year's that i've been here. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity and I hope, I'm prayin that I can give back as much as I feel I have been given, while I am still here..I'll be moving back sometime between this year December and February next year.. I haven't yet decided which would be best. Anyway i'll be going to Price, Utah and attending CEU (hopefully, I'm working on my application. if not looks like it'd be UVU or something)

well there are a lot of other topics and things goin on that I would like to get to but i ran outta time, I hope everyone's well, I love you all!

Love Lizzie.

Something more Important

I'm not gonna talk about physical fitness, Instead I want to talk about something more important.

It's amazing how boring life can seem when one is Pessimistic, or not enthusiastic about life. How sleep can affect our mood or opinions, How easily we can judge another even in the smallest ways possible, even ourselves at times.. How fast a person can be hurt, How easily it is to forget or be blinded from the things that really matter. How one moment someone can be so strong and the next so weak. How change creates a reaction in all of us..

How stress can be lethal if you let it.

How much you can learn in such a short amount of time.

Life is Hard. I used to think life would be easy and fun if it weren't for all the drama people bring into it. But thats what life is, its drama, its trials, its motivation, pushing yourself. working harder. Lately i've come to terms that life isn't going to be any easier as I go through it, but i've been finding a way to make it Clearer. Emotions, actions, thoughts, our whole existence is so big, I don't think i'll even be able to comprehend it all. I'd like to, but it's impossible.. So is perfection in this life.

I've learned, i'm still learning, to be okay not being perfect, being okay with the fact that i've made mistakes and that i'll make more.. and being okay with always working to better the things i'm weak with, and trying harder.. I guess that's what needs to happen.. everything that happens to us in life, is for our good, If we allow it to be. It depends on how we handle the situations around us. How we react.. I've learned it's okay to Cry when you need to Cry.. Hurt when you need to Hurt, Run when you need to Run and Live to try more Vividly when you don't think you can.. Life is one big ball of pain. It's finding the beauty and the joy within that that is difficult. Granted a lot of it has to do with our attitude towards life, But putting aside our own feelings, and thinking about what we're here for.. putting away all the self pity and selfishness that we absorb, and thrive off of at times even if we don't admit it even to ourselves. We're here to look past the pain. and push forward with inner strength, to see others with love, love them even with their faults, look past their faults, and leave them blameless. I'm learning how to do this.. it's hard.. I've realized there is so much good in people.. granted they can have issues and a lot of things that irritate, and have made a lot of mistakes but, looking aside from that, no, looking past that, and accepting that, Loving that person or those people, is so important. Love is a Powerful thing, for ourselves and for others. It eases the pain of this life.. the pain that we've had and still see going on.. The hurt we've had.. it takes real inner strength to love a person even after being hurt. I admire those who can and do. Love is worrying for another's peace of mind, Love is looking at another through the Savior's eyes. Regardless of who they are. Looking past the weaknesses, and past mistakes, past the things they have done to us or another. Looking past the irritating things that person, or people can do. And just flat out admiring them for the good they do have. And the light that they HAVE acquired. Love isn't looking on the outside.. at all. It's been said over and over, that beauty is on the inside.. and all those other cheesy statements. But in order to Feel Real Peace in this life, and to feel Real love for our God and Others to accept ourselves and forget our pain and our hurt, to have a pure heart, and pure intentions and desire for the well being of others, the people we love, .. is to see others for who they really are, really we're, not in the past, but in the life before, to see them as pure and clean.. and to admire their potential for who they really Can be and to admire the things and trials they have conquered in this life..Doing this is the opposite of judging. even in the smallest case. Look past the weaknesses, (don't forget them, chose those you surround yourself with wisely, but don't let remembering them (the weaknesses) turn your heart to anything other than Honest Kindness.) But Looking past all that. IS love. and Creates a peacefulness around us, in our hearts, in our homes, in our relationships, and undoubtedly creates peace, and desire for good in another.

It's so easy to get irritated and frustrated and to jump up to attack at the first open window, to lash back at those who have hurt us even in the most minor case. to think so easily anything judgemental even in the most minor case about another...

if we could only change that, How peaceful could our lives be?...

This change doesn't happen in a second, in an hour, in one day, a week, its a process, of the changing of our repetition of thoughts, and it takes focus and concentrating on a persons strengths, or focusing on the Love or Light that IS in them, that they have been given as we have been given, focus on the mercy that we've been given, the mercy they are given as well. Who are we to be higher than another? who are we to hate another?.. who are we to assume the bad and Doubt the good of another or their intentions?..

When that final day comes, we will want to be judged fairly, mercifully, kindly.. who are we not to show that to another?

The statement do to others as you would have done unto you can't be any truer.

Think of others as you would have them think unto you,

assume of others as you would have them assume of you,

treat others as you would have them do to you,

confront others as you would like to be confronted.. ..

pick a word.

There are a lot of people in life who don't even want to do this at all.. but it is necissary in order to feel relaxed, peaceful, and joyful in this life, it is Necissary if we want to constant companionship of the spirit.. is is neccissary to forgive another if we want or need forgiveness... It is necissary to do this in order to be able to look at our Savior with an honest Love and an honest Gratitude.

It's never going to go perfectly. but with humility in our hearts, not just towards Heavenly Father, but towards all man, we can look past the imperfections of this and just keep trying and working at it. Not letting ourselves hold ourselves back. Not letting the sorrow of our weaknesses or sorrow of our Past sins hold us back, Not letting the judgements of others of us hold us back. But to be constantly diligent in becoming better.. becoming who we are meant to be, who we were meant to be since before we can remember in this life. And to fulfill our requirements and learn the lessons we need to learn Today, and in the years to come.

It's amazing how one little thing can change a whole perspective.

and its amazing how one little action or reaction can have effect on the feeling or joy of another.

I want to make that effect a one that will create something better, and not make it worse than it had been in the first place... to heal and not weaken..

anyway this was a long blog but oh well.. just thought I would share something entirely more important.

Love,

Elisabeth

15 & other stuff

Alright well it's actually less than 15 now.. about 14 and a half lol.

This weekend the family is leaving for France for a week, i'm stayin the weekend to take care of the dog, then either sunday night or monday morning i'm headin over to mom and pop's house stayin till friday morning or Midday with them and be back again in the weekend to pick up the dog from Celeste (my bosses' friend :) ) so that'll be fun :)

I SO cannot wait until summer, seriously can we just skip spring and go straight to summer?

It is way to cold outside, it snowed yesterday about an inch.. then melted then snowed double that again. and now the sun is shining yay! (which i'm happy about because its shinin through my window, and im wearing a black shirt so i'm absorbin it like you wouldn't believe!) SUN has a HUGE effect on peoples moods. I never realized that before. I have never wanted it to be sunny outside so much in my life as I do now! because it has a HUGE effect on how I feel lately :)

I still love my job, it's goin good :) it feels good to be working, I love having responsibility and taking care of things..

OH yeah so about SCHOOL, I found this Wedding planner school thing, and I can do it at home which would be PERFECT.. my boss still kinda would rather have me to do nursing school, but since I didn't really hear anything back from them.. besides that, I want to develop my talents.. i've been told i'm creative, and I do like planning.. A LOT.

I'm always making lists, and charts and attempting to make things..and planning all these things, (like this whole '16 week plan' lol)

I think it would be really good for me. and it would keep me happy and busy, which I need. :) so I want to do that for sure. :) i'm actually really excited about that.. i'll tell Heleen and Arjen after their vacation that this is definitely what I want to do :)

OH good news! I found where I can watch Supernatural season 5 online i'm on Episode 6 haha yay!

just thought you'd like to know that :D

(londa you should hurry and watch 6 episodes of it, i'll wait, then we can watch it kinda at the same time :) oh my heck in episode 4 Castiel (i think it was 4) cracks me up hahaha :P you will Love it :D it's still pretty much amazing. :) )

SO I finally got all my stuff for Weight Watchers here, it's so different. I got a mini binder haha, and I think I was more excited about Decorating the thing than actually opening it and seeing what was inside, which was just the week tracker books and a food guide thing, and a couple other advice books, :) it's all adjusted to suit with the Dutch food :)

so it has like all the points for everything in one book, they don't have a slider thing to check how many points something is, everything that you can eat basically is marked down in that book so it's really easy :D they're doing a new program called Pro points :)

Alright so last week I weighed in, at 72,5 kilo's.. I feel like a cow,

and this week was 73,3 .. which is like a pound and a half gained.. of course this time I had jeans on last time I had sweat pants and I ate like it was my job in the weekend.... i'm pretty much a bottomless pit. And i'm not even joking.

When I got there EVERYONE knew me. it was insane! I didn't even meet anyone last week, I just met one of the coaches, yolanda. (not you yolanda, lol that was her name lol). I guess she told everyone about me and so I had a lot of people coming up to me and saying hi and introducing themselves, and of course every time I go to W.W. (pfft ''everytime'' haha i've been Twice.) I'm all energized and hyped up and totally in a motivated mood, 'cause I just got off my bike after getting there super fast, and knowin' I have to be back to put thijs in bed (which is kinda sad cuz I can't stay for the meeting.. ) oh and they don't call it a meeting, they call it an ''onder onsje'' in english its kinda like ''among us'', .. in a cozy sense, or under us , kinda like what happens in vegas stays in vegas.. lol..but.... only it's not like vegas at all.....

? .. yeah okay i can't explain it. if anyone know's how to feel free to lol.

ANYWAY so I found out that if i can lose a kilo (2.2 Lbs) a week, I will reach my weight goal by my birthday :D yay. I even made a chart for it but I wont type that up haha yeah i'm kinda sad like that..

alright thats pretty much it :)

i'll write again in 2 weeks (since i can't go to WW next week)

love lizzie

16 weeks :D

Sixteen weeks till what you might wonder?

Contrary to what you might be thinking, with the new trend and all, lol I am NOT pregnant. LOL.

WELL i will tell you,

It is Sixteen Weeks until I turn 20 years old, no longer a teenager, no longer the old me, starting now i'm going to be stronger than i've ever been and ever tried to be,

my new years resolutions are going PERFECTLY so far!

(except for the no chocolate for a year... i kinda caved by the 8th.. )

my scripture study, my prayers, and everything with work, i'm keeping it all up great!

Now it's time to work on myself, change the attributes that I don't like in myself, and develop the traits that I want to have!

This year for myself, i'm Studying charity, Since i've decided this i've recognized it a lot more in my life, and realized a lot of things I need to change in myself in order to develop into my personality.

ALSO i'm joining Weight watchers over here, :D

On Tuesday, since thats the only day the closest one to me is open, granted its open at like 7:30 at night making me have to weigh in in the evening, but I don't mind,

ANYWAY another AWESOME fact is, is that, I have the possibility of losing this these 30 lbs in the 16 weeks until my birthday!

Seriously! isn't that AWESOME! it'll be the perfect fresh healthier start :) and these 16 weeks is the perfect amount of time to start changing things I want to change in my life :) and a perfect beginning to applying important and neccissary views, that i feel i need to apply. :)

ANYWAY, i'm just so excited about all this, the whole 16 weeks thing, 16 has been my favorite number for the longest time haha so that makes it EVEN BETTER :P

SO if i want to reach my goal weight, like EXACTLY by my birthday (16 weeks lol think ya got that), i'd have to lose 2 pounds a week, it's Totally doable, and if not, I will MAKE it be doable :)

anyway thats it, I will blog my weigh-ins every Tuesday, keeping you updated on my progress through these 16 AWESOME weeks :D

i am SO excited!

love lis

Good news :D

So yesterday around 5:30 p.m. my sister gets a call on her phone, turns out it's actually for me, and it's the man who gave the GED and he told me he was calling to let me know the results of my GED test, he said he has the pleasure of telling me that i have passed GED TEST!!! :D

I was SOOO excited! i got off the phone and i was Crying! I've been waiting for this for years! i can't believe i actually got it! this opens so many windows for me! i can study what i want to study now there are so many things i can do now, now that i have it!

I'm so excited :D

I'm so happy I could get my GED even last minute! the tests and everything! I couldn't have even done anything without the help of Cathy Butler and Matt Davis. seriously, they are two amazing people! I'm so grateful for them! I got to give them a call today and let them know :D And of course Londa helping me with my Math :).

ANyway so today is my actual Real last day in the States. I fly back out tomorrow.
It's been fun out here i've enjoyed it. it's definitely been worth it :D
it'll also be nice to be back and have a fresh start in everything with the New year and all :D I'm excited to start work again and see the Family I work for :)

I hope you all have a Happy NEw YEAr!!

Love lizzie :D

Catching up :)

So it's been way to long for me not to write anything, and as much as I put it off, I know I have to update it later. The news just keeps building up. I may have forgot a lot of it though so your in luck haha.. Anyway, so I'm back in the United States, Actually my trip is almost over, I have been here almost three months, time has gone by Fast!

Fall was Beautiful here! I never seen anything like it! It was awesome seeing all the leaves, I LOVE Fall. Now it's finally starting to feel like winter though :) Which I also love, cause I can wear my gloves and scarves. :)

Being out here I have Gotten a lot of things done, and I Wouldn't have been able to do it without Yolanda's help, so i'm really grateful for her! We have done a lot. We first got me a New Social Security card, which I needed to get my Drivers License, and my Voter Registration (also needed) that actually took the longest. We opened up an American Bank account for me here. It proves to be pretty handy :) I'm learning how to Balance a checkbook, after many attempts and messing it up all the time, I think I finally got the hang of it. :)

We went in to the DMV to see what I needed to get my license, (haha so many adventures in the DMV.) we walk in, Londa thinks she sees a cop she knows, ''Hey i think that's-- only he's black.. and not him...'' haha,that made me laugh. Later were standin in line, and there were just a few people ahead of us at this point, when this elderly lady fell in front of us, she just kinda fainted I guess. She had been standing to long, it was pretty sad..Londa Offered her leg as a pillow, which was nice. OH lol and Some other random lady in line kept callin out ''whats her name? whats her name?''over and over again, LOL in the car londa was like '' WHY do you want to check her credit? HAHAHA that cracked me up I was laughin, i still am haha. After finding out what we all needed we waited for what felt like FOREVER for my SS card and Voter Registration.

All this while, applying for my SS card and stuff, i've been Observing Americans '' In their Natural Habitat'' as londa likes to say hahaha, I gotta say, I love American humor. it's Mostly Sarcasm, it makes me laugh- its so..Creative lol. lol --Who knew? haha.

through noticing this, i've learned that i like observing people, and cultures. okay not like Stalker observe, but its just so Different from other places i've been. It's so intriguing how people act and the what culture they're from that has helped shape their personalities...

Anywho--

On the 29th of October I got to take the Assessment, placement test for my GED which is usually a 3 step or more process, depending on what level your on. At the beginning of the Test the Teacher guy was like ''okay your going to take a short little test first, this decides which book you get-- the Purple or the Green one. The purple book is if your stupid and the Green isn't.'' lol okay he didn't say it like that, but he did say that the purple one was for the uneducated. LOL. no joke.

anyway-- he was great haha :) So honest. LOL.. Oh and in case your wondering-- I got the green book-- no worries haha. It kinda surprised me and caught me off guard I was totally expecting the Purple one. Considering I haven't been to a school teaching general education since 8th grade. It felt so good being in a classroom again. It's a good Feeling to know I'm not stupid LOL. My scores on that test were all high except for my Math but as a whole, I was Just off not being able to take the Official Practice test which is one of the steps leading up to the GED. i'd have to take some Classes and learn some Math (which was my weak point in the test.)

We didn't figure that out until I called every Testing center in Delaware asking if I could go take the official test, we were told that I have to take the Practice test first, and the results will come in in a few weeks after that, then I could take an official test if I passed it. (Which official tests are only once a month by the way) After figuring that out, I was told I can't even take the Practice test because my scores were off.. which actually made me feel really sad.. So this lady Cathy butler she gave me the number of a Matt Davis and me thinking ''yeah, i have no time left to even try to get this..'' i figured i'd call cuz she said Matt could help me out online.

TURNS OUT, Matt Davis is an Amazing person! He has Totally gone outta his way to help me. He scheduled a practice test the same week, for me to take, based on if i would pass it-- Great! -- if not-- what was the harm in trying. Which totally brought my spirits and hope back.

Yesterday Londa brought me down to Dover to take the Practice test. LOL k so0000 we're driving around trying to find the building and we pass this one Eerie building, which we though might could be it, haha she drives right passes it and is like ''that's not it'' not in the she knew it wasn't it, kind of way but a ''if that's it, your not going in there.'' Kind of way and takes another turn, haha, luckily enough that wasn't it. BUT the building it was in was creepy as well. After gettin buzzed in the sign says : '' Adult Education Door to the Far right'' well there were three doors, on the far right. So the first was locked, the second was open, revealing a staircase, which we decide to walk up, almost reaching the top Yolanda was like '' uhh.. GO DOWN! GO Down, go down! '' haha so this building was kinda creepy. We walk out through that door again and go stand by the elevator; when the last door on the right opens and a lady was like come on in! lol so yeah this 4 hour test, ended up being like.. 5.. and a half because we were discussing the options and stuff.

Anyway, Matt is a Great person, he does his Job extremely well. Anyway long story short I ended up passing everything Except my math but get this- by ONE question.

SOOOO Matt and I we talked about what we could do and we both wanted to be honest not like just erase a question and have him tell me the right answer and cheat, So we talked about coming back on Monday and retaking that section, Anyway longer story short, we figured it out eventually how to do it Honestly And I Ended up passing the math that time. :) I found out He stayed after work for me and everything just so I could take this test, (there were other people stayin after for their work too.) I'm SOOO grateful for him. He's such a good person! Seriously without him I would not even have had another opportunity this trip to get my GE Diploma. He Helped me out SOOO much. He gave me some numbers to call so i could take the Official test next week :)

I just called the Stanton campus I kept getting the answering machine, and Marshalton, I called and the lady wasn't there, so I called the front desk, she said that she still sees the book on the lady's desk so she assumes there are places left and to come sign up on Monday for the Official test for the 16th and 17th (it's split in half) at 5:30 p.m. both days. But since she ''assumes'' there are places left, I'm still going to keep calling Stanton just in case :). I'm really SO excited though to Go for this test! And so thankful I called that number just in time! so That's where I am now Education Wise.

AND -Now that I've had my Drivers Permit already for a couple weeks :D

I think I'll be taking my Drivers Test, not the written but the driving part, on Tuesday :) Which will be awesome, and I SOO hope i pass.. if not I think I have to wait like 10 days.. or something which would mean Right after we get back from California. I've waited for my license for YEARS I'm so glad I finally get the chance to get it now!

AND --To update you on all the past events,

October/Beginning of November --

There was a YSA Halloween Dance, I Dressed up as Mother Nature, it was really fun making the costume.Londa helped me with ideas and the face paint :) Dances here are so different than the ones I'm used to in The Netherlands, I forgot that here, they just kind of, move in circles.., where as in Holland, they Dance, like Real dance..It was still a fun experience though. but I do appreciate the dances back home more now. :)

Then on Actual Halloween we took Nicolai Trick or treating, he was a Lion, and Such a cutie!

After the Dance, but before Halloween around that time if I remember right There was this Murder Mystery activity at President Winn's house, I got there late but it was still really fun to see and dress up for :) I Enjoyed being there:)

OH Londa had me watch Boondock Saints, and it was -AMAZING-, then later we went and saw Boondock saints II which was also really REALLY good!!!!!! I'm gonna own both of those movies next time I see them in the store :D I'm definitely going to Ireland in the Near future, even if it's just for the accents alone!!

Another movie I went and Saw, was New Moon. I Saw it with Heather, Mike, and Joshua. :) it was Actually Pretty Good!! we had fun, and did Wii bowling at Mikes house before the movie. Anyway I'm gonna see it again when I get the chance to. haha last year I saw Twilight with Christina Twice in Scotland, Now i'm in the U.S. for New moon, Who knows where i'll be for Eclipse haha :P

Thanksgiving:

Thanksgiving was Awesome, its the first time in a long time I actually felt a holiday again. it truly felt like Thanksgiving, we watched the Macy's parade, and Nicole and Nicolai came :) LOL and after eating so much-- Laughing-- NOT a good idea, it HURT SO BAD to laugh I thought my chest bone was gonna break. I was Crying and laughing at the same time because it hurt so bad lol. :) OH and (not that I should be proud of this) I ate two pumpkin pies. ... by myself.. lol.. it was SO good though, so worth it.. lol but i probably should never do that again though.

Black Friday:

The next day Londa and I got up at 3:00 a.m. and went shopping on Black Friday which was REALLY fun!!! I loved it. we went to Khols, toys 'r us, Target,and best buy stopped and got some Dunkin donut's hot chocolate which is THE BEST HOT CHOCOLATE IN THE WORLD. And i'm not joking. Anyway at target I bought all the first 3 seasons of ''Supernatural'' (the 4th at best buy though) Cuz they were on sale :) ANd a Disney Scene-it LOL. The last one in the whole store.hahaha it's funny story, you'll have to ask if your curious. hahaha good times lol..

we are so hooked to Supernatural now. I love it. :D. We ended up watching all 4 seasons that whole next week LOL. it was Really fun :) it was sad when it got over though.. and we still need to watch up to Episode 10 on Season 5 now.. but yeah it was Great :D

Last weekend we went to Dover, and saw the Beach IN THE MIDDLE of a Storm. LOL no joke, it was snowing up in Wilmington and everything! it was SOOOOOOO COLD but REALLY fun :)

Now We're are gettin' ready to go to California next week. I'm really excited for that :D

I'm glad I came out here :)
I've been learning SOO much, its just crazy, and not just like school kind of learning i've also learned a lot about myself, I realized what I can do and need to do to make myself a better person. I've also Learned to value my friends so much more than I ever did before -- okay that sounds bad, because I did value my friends before, but now even more so. all of my friends. :)

Not just that but I've learned a lot of personal things too. Emotionally and Spiritually.

some other things i've realized here are :

• The singles ward/ ysa in general in the U.S. is Competitive. its CRAZY where as in Holland, everyone can just be friends. there's no '' I'm gonna strangle you if I get the chance'' vibes goin on. lol this makes me Appreciate home even more. Since I've been here, I've met some fun people and made some new friends here, been on a couple dates and a double date. Which again is so different than at home. But it's been really fun, i've enjoyed it :)
  
  
• Words that sound similar in Dutch & English, are in fact, Not the same LOL. No one understands what I mean when I can't remember the English word for something.
  
  
• How awesome is it that I got an opportunity to learn another language? I can't believe I'm Actually looking forward to speaking dutch when I get back to Holland. I Never expected that. I actually feel like working on it and try to perfect it. :)
  
  
• I NEED to travel. it's in my blood I can't help it. This is the start of some Amazing Adventures :)
  
• I'm really excited that its the Christmas Season again :).
  speaking of Christmas, thinking back on Last Christmas in Scotland, I can't help but laugh and smile.(haha those were some Good times Abeth)! OH I'm really excited to go see the Washington D.C. Temple, with it's Christmas lights Tomorrow night! The Ysa relief Society is goin', I'm really looking forward to that!!

Man, I feel so grateful for so many things lately.. I'm mostly greatful for the love God has for me which i've seen more than before by being out here. It's comforting to know that if accidentally mess up or feel burdened, he's always there to take those heavy feelings away as long as I'm willing to come to him with them. I'm amazed with how he works with me to make my weaknesses into strengths.

Anyway, I'll probably blog again when I get back home to The Netherlands.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Studies health and other fun things.

Alright, so i've been looking at the practice tests, for my GED. And well okay the math is kind of Difficult.. I taught myself how to subtract %'s. Good thing, 'cause then I can find out how much something will cost when I go shopping haha.. I also looked up the GED test taking place closest to my sisters house; it's even in Wilmington itself, so thats good. I'm trying to practice dividing and multiplying fractions as much as I can. I kind of wish I had some worksheets to do; then give them to someone to check if they're right. but oh well. I was surprised that in the intermediate grammar, or whatever its called on the practice test; i actually got all of those right. :) But the Grammar in general I need to work on, it looks like its easy to learn so thats good, I kinda learned a bit already just by checking the answers on the answer sheet; seeing how it's really supposed to be said. Oh and i've also been giving myself words haha. So I can broaden my vocabulary.

Words i've learned so far:

Blase-- Bored as a result of having experienced many pleasures.

Ostracize-- To Exclude from a group, to banish..

Inevitable-- Unable to Avoid, to be escaped

Frivolous-- not very important, not worth of serious attention

Plausible-- Reasonable, Appearing true

Thats as far as i've gotten. Even though I made one for everyday, until i fly out to the states.

My word for today is: Eloquent-- I haven't memorized this yet, but it means having or exercising the power of fluent forceful and appropriate speech. You probably already know that though haha.

I also made flash-cards with drivers signs on them haha. I kinda know all those, but the lights with like 4 lights; making the shape of a square then the one light on top- yeah those are a little more difficult to understand. But I'm sure if I would have printed the manual in color I would get it. Londa said she'll explain that to me when I'm m out there, so I'm not worried. Oh and I just decided I'm gonna go through this blog when I'm done, try to fix all my misspelled words; and put in some punctuation .:)

So I had my Relief Society lesson yesterday. It went okay. I didn't prepare for it but I did that on purpose. For some reason I can teach better that way I guess. Well I was prepared, but I didn't have a whole lesson planned out step my step. I did write down some questions and all, so i was little prepared. Anyway I hope it went alright, people thanked me for it afterwards.. haha half of me believes some of them were just being polite. But I feel that for my first lesson ever given inside church, it wasn't bad :) I enjoy teaching, its so fun! You can express your enthusiasm for things. And hopefully the others will feel more motivated, and just as enthusiastic as you are. Which creates a more pleasant atmosphere, and stronger friendship between each-other. :)

So another thing I learned while I was studying something about repentance. I learned that If we follow Christ, if we choose to follow him; whither we like it or not; we're gonna change. it's just part of it. If you follow him your automatically going to become a better person. It's like a force you can't control. if you follow him, the fact that your going to accomplish your goals is Inevitable ( lol yay for my new word! ). Thats just how it is. Who wouldn't want to accomplish their goals? Well I was thinking about that, and it would be a harder step than I would have expected. That changing my habits and behavior, following christ would lead me to completing my goals. At the time that realized that it was a scary thought. Knowing I would change, my perspective on things would change, but the more I thought about it and its taken a few days- i ran this process through my head, thinking, who wants to remain in a state of pessimism? and negativity? I realized then that: Pessimism is a sign that you do not truly desire to change and reach your goals. alright well thats a bad thing I thought.. And I wondered why I felt kinda nervous about knowing the fact that continuing to follow christ would change me change my outlook on life, make me a more optimistic person. I noticed that it was because I have this Comfort zone; that I've been in for the longest time, granted its not the worst zone, and I've learned a lot in that area of state of being, of mind. But that since I have a hard time changing my comfort zone, I have a hard time changing.

But I've learned that Change is Essential. And I need to include that in my Comfort zone, or just let go of my comfort zone all together. Haven't decided which yet, but through either one of those; If I want to reach my goals; follow who I desire to follow; I need to accept that I need to change, and just do it! I need to change my Pessimism into Optimism, Negativity in to Positivity and through the power that that gives, it lets me follow, and do that which is inevitable. (change for the better) and Enjoy the fruit that comes from Changing and being a better person.

-Becoming a better person, a clear seeing, open, path set, positive person, is just unavoidable if you follow christ. lol whether you like it or not. LOL. just how it is. So thats what I learned lol its quite a big step, but being in such a doubtful comfort zone in the first place isn't healthy, I can see why we change for the better when doing our best to follow, because it will make us happy, and God wants us to be happy. So thats how its gonna be :) .. haha it's kinda funny but its a pretty secure promise lol.

anyway, I've chosen to change my comfort zone.

hmm about health. Well I haven't been running but I have been drinking bucket-loads of water! I seem to have more energy, and my kidney doesn't hurt as bad :) Granted I have to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, but thats okay :) I've been drinking about 4 liters a day, I noticed this weekend that it got rid of bloatiness and I did lose quite a bit of weight just by drinking enough this past week- just have to burn the stuff off thats left there now lol.. maybe that makes no sense trying to explain.. lol

Oh' and my History book I'm reading, ''tried by war'' it's gotten a lot more interesting, it was pretty boring.. but now its pretty interesting. I hope I'll finish it soon.

I'm excited to fly! I went in the airport a couple weeks ago to meet Veronica when she came out of the door from the baggage pick up area. I love airports :). I even got that nervous feeling again before I fly and I wasn't even flying haha :P it's was pretty fun..lol

Well I think thats about it. gonna go through and punctuate things now lol

-love Lizzie